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35. I Need You Michael Jackson

There is no greater pain or struggle in life than trying to heal from the death of someone you love. When it comes to Michael Jackson, the depth of love that so many people have for him, including fans, friends and family, is remarkable.

Now that the initial shock is over, the healing process begins. Some of you were lucky enough to experience one of his concerts. Others are blessed with being friends or family, but the vast majority of us loved him from afar. That doesn’t mean that our grief is any less significant than anyone else’s.

You may hear comments from people like "How can you hurt over someone you never knew?" They don’t understand that he is someone you knew. You may not have ever met him, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a relationship with him. Relationships are formed when a person makes an emotional impact on you in some way. That is certainly the case for Michael and his fans.

Regardless of whether you knew Michael personally or not, you will still feel the pain of lost opportunities. A lost opportunity to ever be able to see him sing or dance live again, a lost opportunity to be able to show him love more deeply, laugh with him more sweetly or appreciate him more consciously.

It’s hard to imagine life without him. You may be fine one minute, then suddenly a feeling of pain washes over you out of the blue, when something reminds you that he is no longer here. You may not want to move through your grief yet, because you think it’s the only thing keeping you connected to him. You may fear that if you stop thinking about him he will fade away. You may be trying to push down the pain that keeps demanding to surface.

The healing process cannot take place until you move from your head to your heart. That means letting yourself experience your feelings of sadness completely. You may think that if you let yourself feel the sadness it will lead you into a place of darkness, but the truth is that you can only reach the place of love and light by first moving through the darkness. You will never be able to love fully until you let yourself feel the sadness fully. Crying can help facilitate healing because it releases toxins and pent up energy. When you are able to experience the sadness through an emotional release, you will be led to a deep love within you. When that love is activated, your connection to Michael will thrive.

You may feel like you still need him in your life and that you can’t live a day without him. You don’t have to live a day without him. Your relationship with him doesn’t have to end, because your relationship with him is not external. It is within you. If you want to nurture your connection to him even though he is gone, create a sacred space to do so.

A sacred space is a personal place that you create where you can go in private to remember him vividly, where you can bring him into the forefront of your mind and bask in your feelings of love. Put your favorite photos of him in your sacred space, the ones that represent the time in his life that was most dear to you. Light a candle, then listen to your favorite song or watch a video that touches you emotionally.

When you feel warmth inside, your heart will start to open. Honor and allow any feelings that surface to come through you. Don’t try to push them back down, just allow them. Remember it is the release of that energy that leads to healing. Then talk to him if you wish, either silently or out loud. Express everything you want to say. Tell him what you are feeling and how much you miss him. If you feel regret over something, express it. If you want him to know how much you love him, say it. When you have finished saying what’s in your heart, sit back and wait….you will begin to feel that your connection with him is stronger than ever.

I created the video below to help fans, friends, and family of Michael Jackson begin to move through the healing process. The song is called "I Need You" by Michael’s nephews, 3T. It may make you laugh, cry and reflect, but those are all things that will lead you down the path of healing, to the place where the void you feel inside now will be replaced with love.

Los of L.O.V.E.

Linda Higgins

Director of Community Development

Disclaimer: If you are feeling overwhelmed with grief please seek a counselor to help you.

If you can't view the video on this page click this link. I Need You

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