In the nearly 3 years since Michael passed, I have been forced to learn to accept that in life that there are no guarantees. It makes no difference who you are, how loved you are, what you had planned to do or what others had mapped out for you; when God calls, you simply answer. All earthly things cease. What ends up mattering, making a difference is what we stood for and the legacy we leave behind.
For many, many months I have allowed myself to be so emotionally empty from the loss of Michael that I could not see beyond my grief. I wallowed in it shamelessly and almost allowed my selfishness to cause me to miss out on the pure beauty of him, his essence; foregoing all the gifts that he left behind for us to share. As I look back I tell myself, how foolish and unappreciative of me to continue to hold onto Michael’s wings, pulling his spirit down. I should love him more and let him go. He deserves and has earned the right to be free to fly! I am so sorry, angel. Forgive me. l am now releasing you.
If we do nothing else in life, I know that we live and learn. What I have learned from this very difficult experience is that it is unfair to loved one who has pass before me to make that one minute in time, that departure minute, the one that I remember most. It is paramount to dishonor to allow that solitary moment to rob me of all the beauty and magic, the goodness and the laughter, both shared and understood; the fond memories, because I don’t want them to go. Who am I to make that choice? Instead of mourning and weeping and wishing and hoping, I should be dancing and rejoicing, graciously enjoying the gifts left behind. From this day forth…
This first commemoration of the death of Michael in the year of our Lord 2012 was a big turning point for me; an awakening. It has taken me a long time to get here, but here I stand ready to celebrate him for all the wonder and glory that he was, all that he left to the world’s care. For this day forward you will find me playing the songs I have not been able to listen to since his passing; watching the speeches and the performances that I selfishly shelved because of my relentless grief; and reading again the accolades, the heart warming stories and memoirs that attest to his genuine goodness and graciousness, of which there are many. I am ready to once more re-live the glory. AT LAST! I am finally; finally ready to accept the things that I cannot change and move forward to celebrate and appreciate more the gifts he made possible for the world to share. Dear heavenly Father, I find myself crying again, as I know I will for years and years to come. But this day I am finding a certain joy inside my tears.
Thank you Michael Jackson for all you gave and all you continue to give. Thank you for the sacrifices you made throughout your career. Thank you for the love you gave unconditionally. Thank you for the smile that lit up the world and set hearts on fire. Thank you for a life well lived, one that you allowed us to share. Thank you for the magic and those beautiful dancing feet. Thank you for the music and the gift of song. Thank you for your humbleness and your humility. Thank you for being who you were and always will be. Thank you, Michael Jackson. Thank you, Michael Jackson. Thank you then, now, and forever more. In my lifetime, you were the greatest gift of all.
To this world, you gave yourself away… all for love