Dearest Michael,

Like any other fan, I have questions about this too...

I watched as much as the beginning of Dr. Muarry's trial today as I could and I have to ask... what really happened between you and Conrad Murray?

Through all of today's testimonies to the audio tape (which tore me apart... I cried on my brother's bed because what I had heard.)  At first, I wasn't sure that 'sluggish' (as was described) voice was your voice, but when I read what was being said, in an instant I was tuned, I knew it was you, in and I just cried.  I couldn't believe my ears to be honest.  I was like "What the heck did he do to you?"  and the simple word, "Why?  Why was it going on in the first place?"  During Kenny Ortega's testimony, he mentioned a letter he wrote to Randy Phillpis(?) regarding his concerns over your health.  HLN, being HLN, cut to commercials when Kenny was reading the letter, and all I really heard of it was something like "Tonight I was feeding him, I wrapped him in blankets, and he had chills." and some other things along those lines.  And then what really got to me was the two pictures they showed.  They had a picture from the 24th and the 25th of June 2009.  The 24th showed you rehearsing Earth Song and the 25th...Oh my God, I could NOT believe what I saw... YOU, in that hospital bed, and knowing you had probably already left your body to be in Heaven,  I cried more.  My responce was "Oh my God... Oh my God..."  and I was on the verge of tears, until I felt one stroll down my cheek.  I am keeping up with this trial to the best of my ability, because I want to see how this trial turns out. I guess something new will come out each day.  A new thing every day... I guess that's what they say.

  I am keeping you, your family and fans in my thoughts and prayers as we go through this as one, big, MJ family.

I wanted to share a song with you too. Maybe you have heard it, maybe you have not. It's called "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins. My school's choir is performing this song as one of our fall concert pieces, and our concert is in less than three weeks. We are not only singing it, but we will also entwining it with sign language to the best of our ability. When I listened to the intro to the song, I thought "This would be something Michael would sing, I just know it." and as I kept listening, because it was the first time I actually looked at the lyrics, I thought "Yes, Michael should have sang this song! It sounds like a song he would sing to his children and fans alike." And I smiled to myself.

COPY AND PASTE LINK INTO SEARCH BAR: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V35oRyAMmtU&feature=related

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always 

With the love. L-O-V-E...
LJ

 Michael Jackson sang, the world hoped.

Michael Jackson danced, the world smiled.

Michael Jackson laughed, the world laughed.

Michael Jackson died, the world cried, but sang, danced, and laughed because we know that's what he would've wanted.

Michael Jackson was Michael Jackson, and always will be.

We are all Michael Jackson when we cry, sing, dance and laugh

♥

Michael, We Love You Most.

Rest In Peace.

1958 - 2009

I just had to share some stuff with you people...And Michael.

...And then you forget what you wanted to say and you're stuck trying remember what you were going to say.  Doesn't that ever happen to you?

Well first of all, I've wanted to listen to Michael's version of the song "Ain't No Sunshine" and now I found it.  It's been stuck in my head all day, like many other of Michael's songs like "Don't Walk Away", "Got To Be There" and then I sang "Rockin' Robin" to myself.  The songs will just pop into my head, like "Lady In My Life" will pop in during gym and "You've Got A Friend" will pop in during lunch, when I am normally by myself, and I wouldn't be thinking about anything.  They just *pop* in.

Second, I have a tip.  If you're presenting a map to a bunch of people, if you're not in the mood for negative comments about Michael, don't pick Neverland Ranch as a map.  I did, and holy cow you wouldn't believe what they said about Michael... It was horrible! I had to pick a map for a project in my Advanced Placement Human Geography class and I chose the map for Michael's Neverland Ranch and I had to present it to the class, and when I did (which was like, last week), everyone made really cruel jokes about Michael and it was just awful...Like, when the teacher pointed to the main residence, plus with the fact that it was classified as an amusement park, someone said "Yeah, that's where he got his amusement." and everyone laughed.  It was just rude, hurtful comments. I almost cried, and it hurt me.  So I had a thought, "I bet Michael felt this way in 2005, when he was put on trial.  This must be what it felt like for him, just horrible, when people say that about him.  I wonder if it is possible for him and I to feel the exact same way, even though this was six years ago, and back then I was blind to him."  

I hate the ridicule I recieve from my older brother about my love for Michael, and his imaptience for me to finish what I'm writing. "I'm not going to wait for you to finish writing about Michael freakin' Jackson."  That's what he said, and he just called Michael 'stupid'. "I'll be back in ten minutes (10:00PM EST), so just finish your stupid letter on your Michael Jackson editorial and don't you start a chapter that you can't write in under ten minutes."  What kind of older brother tells that to his younger sister?  And in such a nasty tone? :'(  

Why is it at these moments I feel so helpless?  It's at these moments I long for Michael to comfort me, and at these moments it takes more than a photo or a song... A hug, maybe?

I wanted to share a song I found... It's called "Good Enough" by Evanescence.  This song has meaning to me, and I always listen to it when I'm upset, and then I listen to some of Michael's songs.  I hope you all like it....And it made me think of Michael sometimes.  About how people were pushing him to do what they wanted him to, and if he wasn't 'Good Enough'.

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw2Ic_2XdVQ&ob=av2e

With the love. L-O-V-E... :3
-LJ:)