Hi... I am Faith. Well, my name is Vera, which is Russian and means faith, so I thought it would be a fitting nickname.

My little family and I live in Germany and I'm 46 years old (47 at the end of this month). I'm married to an English guy, John, and I'm the mother of the most gorgeous boy named Joshua (well, all parents say that about their kids, don't they?). He was born on January 22nd, 1997 and changed our lives completely.

Born a rebel, I had never seen myself as a mom. I was mad about my horses and later dedicated all my free time and love to my favourite bands. Music was my life! Still is!

1996 was an awful year. My friend Vinnie died in January, our dad in March and one of my best friends JJ died in June. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I was told I was pregnant, right after JJ's funeral. It was then I decided to call my child "JJ," in honour of my friend, and that is why my boy is named Joshua John = JJ.

Joshua is very much like me, a rebel :) Always in trouble, always playing jokes and driving teachers, neighbours and people in general up the walls. Never in a nasty way, but he definitely was, and still is, a handful!

He started playing soccer when he was three and, boy, was he good! Again, very skillful and strong, but too headstrong at times. John and I supported Joshua's career from the start and for nine years we spent five days a week on soccer pitches, at matches, training sessions and tournaments all across Europe. It wasn't always easy, but it was his dream and so it became ours too.

Joshua also loves music! Guided by the best (me, his mom *smiles*) he was introduced to good music from the start! :) He's seen and met Whitesnake and SAXON many times (bands I've known personally for years!) and, of course, adores Michael!
 
So, one could say we were a normal family... well, maybe not normal for some, but at least we were doing most things most families do – work, school, soccer, housework, homework... we had arguments, laughs, fights, ups and downs... all of that jazz. We complained about bad school results, were upset about bills, lost soccer matches, bad weather, all sorts of things.

We were devastated when Michael died that dreadful day in June this year and we were struggling to survive. Honestly, we believed it couldn't get any worse.

How little did we know.

On October 28th, the day we had tickets to go and see THIS IS IT, our world suddenly stopped turning. In fact, it stopped and kicked us into space... the space between heaven and hell!

It was the day our only son, the most precious "thing" in our lives, was diagnosed with cancer, Leukemia. It was the day a huge invisible monster grabbed us and ripped us to shreds. It was the day I will never ever forget, not a second of it, for as long as I live! I have never ever felt such pain, fright, despair and sheer horror in all my life. Neither has John, I'm sure of that.

For the past six weeks, we've been with JJ day and night. Everything revolves around him, nothing else matters. As of yesterday, I haven't got a job anymore, as I couldn't fit in both and they weren't willing to give me an unpaid break. We, as a family, are living a nightmare and cannot wake from it.

Today, five weeks into his treatment, Joshua is fighting his demons. We are so proud of him. Josh is doing a better job than me, that's for sure. Six surgeries and five chemotherapies he has endured and he seems "unbroken." But he is suffering silently. I can tell by the way he looks and by what he says. It broke my heart when, one night in hospital, he said, "Mom, I had so many plans... and I'll never get to see THIS IS IT on a big screen." This was incredibly painful to hear and, as I'm writing this, tears are falling yet again... and no, I didn't go to see TII either. It didn't feel right without my boy.

Where and how this story will end, we do not know. But like I always thanked God for my precious child. I'm now constantly praying he'll show mercy on us and save him.

What's left to say? A huge THANK YOU to the people on this site! The amount of love, support and encouragement we've been receiving from the founders of this tribute and from friends and strangers on here is incredible. It's heartwarming and soothing. It is beyond all expectations. It is making life easier, which I never thought would be possible, and there are no words to describe how thankful we are! If I could, I'd put it into writing, but I fail to do so!

I'm not surprised though. After all, this is Michael's family and this community learned from the best! Michael has left a piece of his loving nature and light in each and everyone of you, and Joshua and we are feeling the warmth.

THANK YOU for everything you are giving us! We couldn't love you more!

From our splintering hearts...

Love, Vera (aka Faith), with hubby John and our beloved Joshua (aka JJ)